UNITED KINGDOM - Harvey Manhood, the first person in Elite history to reach 10k, 20k, and 30k through 90k posts, is also the first to reach 100k posts...and no one seems to care.
This comes just four days after he reached the 90,000 mark that was once thought impossible until the all-time greatest poster burst onto the scene in May 2003, during which he accrued what is a now pitiful 665 posts in one month.
"It was only a matter of time before this spamming bitch went ten times platinum!" exclaimed Jean-Francois Dubreuil. "I mean, platinum to The Elite is only 10,000 posts, but if he hits one million...he will actually have gone platinum. It's scary to think about it."
Most of The Elite seems to share Dubreuil's sentiment.
"We stopped caring at 13,000, you fucktard." admonished fellow member Kenny Hill. "I mean, really now...we don't need to be updated every time you reach another 1000 posts."
Not everyone is angry with Manhood, however. MrFood was quoted as saying, "Great. Good for you. I really commend your efforts to keep these boards an enjoyable place to post." The post was edited three minutes later, replaced with a humorous picture of Gary Coleman, suggesting that his first message was sarcastic.
Despite all of the appelations hurled towards Manhood, he shows no signs of slowing down. Within seconds of his historic post, he eclipsed the 100,003 mark. Some say he is using multiple computers to post several times in rapid succession.
When asked about Manhood's accomplishment, Tyler Probert said, "It's so obvious that he's cheating somehow. Half of his posts are blank, or contain that retarded :b smiley that he's so in love with. What a dink!"
"I'm not going to stop," commented Manhood. "I have just as much a right to speak my mind as the rest of them. I just have a lot to say, that's all. As far as I'm concerned, if they don't like it, they can leave. I'm not going anywhere."
"Furthermore, I hope to reach 500,000 by the end of next week," Manhood added. "It's going to be tough, but if I can get my friend to loan me his computer, I'll be able to...uh, nevermind. Forget I said that."
Regardless of how he posts, it doesn't change the fact that Manhood is the most prolific poster in the history of The Elite. He is seemingly unstoppable.
"When he drops a ":b" on you, you know it was worth reading!" exclaimed Fabien Malaval. "When I start reading one of his posts...the ones that actually say stuff, I know my day just got a whole lot more productive."
