Your Horoscope By MrFood and Steve Bryze College Students and A.A.P.B.-Certified Astrologers

Sam Hughes:
Your life will come to an end when you reluctantly face the grim realiziation that stick figure
comics are not a benefit...to anyone. ~SB

Anton Forsander:
Although you may be disappointed at first, when you find out the old man pretending to be
your girlfriend is your neighbor, it will be the happiest day of your life. ~MF

Stephen Chan:
Your excitement of playing the role of Nick Nack in the remake of The Man With the Golden
Gun will fade when you find out it's only because you're a short, Asian guy. ~SB

Derek Kisman:
You will feel as if your life has been a waste when you discover that you actually did learn
everything you need to know in kindergarten. ~MF

Paul Plumridge:
Until you remember your wish to have a soundtrack to your life, you will be confused as to why
you hear I Just Saw the Gayest Guy on Earth by Anal Cunt every time you move. ~MF

Bryan Youse:
Ignoring the fact that nobody reads it, you will still decide to update your blog more than the
rankings. ~SB

Mallow:
You will realize that just because you have been here for a long time, it doesn't mean people care
about you. ~SB

Karl Jobst:
You will fail in your attempts to distance yourself from The Elite...thus confirming your belief
that The Elite turned you into a failure. ~MF

Wouter Jansen:
Although you may not actually see who is first by the end of your life, one thing is certain: it
sure as hell isn't you. ~MF

Ben Gorman:
You will feel like an idiot when you find out that it's actually easier to put your pants on one leg
at a time. ~MF

Mark Jones:
010110010110111101110101001000000111011101101001011011000110110000100000011000100110
010100100000011100100110010101101100011010010110010101110110011001010110010000100000
011101000110111100100000011010110110111001101111011101110010000001110100011010000110
000101110100001000000111011101101000011010010110110001100101001000000110001001100101
011010010110111001100111001000000110000101100010011011000110010100100000011101000110
111100100000011100100110010101100001011001000010000001100010011010010110111001100001
011100100111100100100000011010010111001100100000011000010010000001110011011010110110
100101101100011011000010000001110100011010000110000101110100001000000110111001101111
011000100110111101100100011110010010000001100111011010010111011001100101011100110010
000001100001001000000110010001100001011011010110111000100000011000010110001001101111
011101010111010000101100001000000110010101110110011001010111001001111001011011110110
111001100101001000000111010001101000011010010110111001101011011100110010000001111001
011011110111010100100000011010110110100101100011011010110010000001100001011100110111
0011001000000110000101101110011110010111011101100001011110010111001100101110 ~MF

Steve Bryze:
Your life will stop flashing before your eyes when the doctors find out that your tumor was
really just a Mentos. ~MF

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