Reporting LIVE from a Convenience Store you’ve never heard of
Week one of the Goldeneye Team Tournament ended yesterday, and we’ve seen some of the fiercest competition in recent memory! As expected, Team More Elite than Elite under the guidance of Ranked no. 1 David Clemens, who accumulated a third of the team’s 39 total points, takes the number one spot. They placed first in three of the general events, and won the Personal challenge of the week. Great job guys! Other key performers on this stacked team were Afanoftherings and Ryan Lockwood, with especially impressive showings in their respective events, tying the first place time.
Moving down the ladder, we come to the always controversial Team Denis Lucid, in second place at 33 points, with a thorough and decisive clinch of the Team event by key players Henning Blom, Axel Zed, and Patrik The Destroyer. The total time of their rumble in the jungle was a low, low time of 2:37! Henning and Axel also tied the first place finishes of Clemens and Lockwood. The race between these top two teams looks to be a good one!
It doesn’t stop there either, fellow Eliters! The battle at the bottom is looking brutal as well with three teams all within a few points at each other. Leading this pack right now, is Team Whatever we’re calling ourselves at the moment, headed by Tournament Mastermind, Goose! Despite being edged out in the Personal and Team challenges, they put up respectable showings in all their individual events, all scoring 3rd place or better, with Durk taking a nice first place finish on the caverns event. While yours truly underperformed in his own event, he does maintain that he at least beat The Good Speedruntrainer, which is far better than actually winning. They currently sit a 22 points.
Unlucky fourth to the ever cuddly and lovable Team Adorable, headed by the Wailin’ Australian, Glen Stevens! The team captain dominated the Grand Prix, netting a two second untied and 8 luscious, scrumptious points for his team, leaving everyone else deadlocked in a four way tie for second place. Our favorite clown, Adam Bozon showed off his fancy tomfoolery by dominating the Cradle event as well! They currently sit at a mere 20 points, but don’t count these pretty eyed cuties out just yet!
In current last place is the one team that truly lived up to their name, The Busy Boys. Spending their time on meaningless things like school, and work, and sleep; they managed to collectively net only a paltry 12 points. Ouch! But don’t dismiss these sleeping giants just yet, whose star power meter includes the Notorious Jim Barrett, as well as the Furious Matis the Mighty. Everyone’s best friend, ringer and team leader Eddie Lovins was part of that clusterfuck 2nd place tie on the Statue level. And hey, there’s really no telling when these guys might wisen up, take Jack Black’s advice and quit their day jobs.
Not enough for you? Check out the official thread on The Elite forums for a detailed breakdown of the various rules and scores of Week One of the Tournament.
In other news, longtime GE veteran Wouter Jansen resigned from his position as Updater after a lengthy (read: half a year) dispute with many in the community on either side. The issue? Jim Barrett’s untaped (though witnessed by a roomful of eliters) world record run on Archives Agent. After a long legal battle, the Supreme Judge eventually ruled in Jimbo’s favour, to the annoyance of some and the ecstasy of others.
There was also a bunch of world and personal records set, but nobody cares about those.
……just kiddin’.
PEACE!
~Jack William Wedge II