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[ The-Elite.Net ]
This is the home of the best GoldenEye and Perfect Dark players on the planet, period. Whoop-de-freakin'-do.
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(^GE multi = teh suck)
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(^as if this guy/site isn't gay)
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(^watch Jones slowly kill this)

(^cause these ranks aren't a total joke. oh wait!)

(^already closed...)
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(^where about 3 players don't totally suck)
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(^earth's biggest fags. period.)
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|||||||||||| Staff ||||||||||||

Derek Clark:
page | email | AIM
Jon Barber:
page | email | AIM
Bryan Youse:
page | email | AIM
New Motto: "For crap's sake, it's just a game."

 :: "It's just a game." | 4.01.04 | 12:03.54 AM EST | Jon

*sigh* Well, I hate to have to say this, but then again, I doubt there was anyone who didn't see it coming... As if Youse's weekly (if we were lucky) updates weren't enough of a give away, the past few months have seen such an enormous rise in the popularity of strat whoarding, taking the rankings page hostage, and complaining endlesslyabout proof issues that it became more or less inevitable. And so, today we will officially follow in the footsteps of our friends over at F-Zero Central... the GE and PD world rankings will no longer be updated. What is currently online is the last update you will see, and these so-called "frozen" rankings, along with itself, will remain online for about two more months (just long enough for us to support GE and PD in the upcoming Great Game Contest at GameFAQs).

Now, before anyone gets too upset, I'd like to point out that we did not come to this decision lightly. Clark, Youse, and myself had several very serious debates on this issue (including those regarding how to respond to the "incidents" caused by Come, Zwartjes, Tyler, Karl, Jugador, Shade, Phil Hughes, Snap, and Makepeace, among others), but the final decision was made only moments after having learned of the betrayal of our formerly most trusted member, Wouter Jansen. Matthijs, to his credit, stood up to us, forcing the removal of the rankings to be only a temporary move. But after the poor response we received, the three of us have decided to remove Matt from the t-e.n staff (check the bottom of the page for updated staff listing/titles) and go ahead with our original plan.

Not only the main rankings will be affected, however. The growing distrust and unrealistic demands for proof have now reached all quarters of the Elite community, and so all "competitive" rankings, from LTK to the Rares to Turbo, will now be shut down as well. If you take a moment to consider the matter, you'll realize that this is really not such a bad thing. For instance, it has allowed us to "trim the fat" in terms of what will be linked from the main page. Later this week, all links with a line through them will be permanently removed. We have provided a brief explanation along with most of our decisions; I think you will find them to be more than reasonable.

And so, in keeping with our new motto ("For crap's sake, it's just a game"), you may have noticed that the videos have been taken offline. By our thinking, having them available is only encouraging people into returning to playing PD/GE for fast times, which we simply couldn't allow. But don't worry, that server space won't go to waste, as everything that has been removed will soon be replaced by "fun" videos, such as my famous "SillyElvis.avi," in which a crazy Attack Ship glitch places Elvis inside of a Skedar's body! We will also consider hosting videos of people doing fun things with the all-guns cheat.

You've also probably noticed that the PD and GE message boards have been shut down. Not all that shocking a move, really... many over the past years have correctly pointed out that the overall posting trend has been leading away from these old boards, and towards a greater use of General Chat and The Elite Chat Room. But no need to worry, because in order to leave an outlet for our competitive instincts, the old Player of the Month award is going to be replaced by a much more enjoyable POM: "pwner of the month"! Yes, in order to compete, you need only to insult another board user, thenfollow your sentence with the word "pwned." A running scoreboard will be kept at the top of the boards throughout the month. In addition, we are considering a similar competition for FFA, with the winner being named "The King of Porn." Also, we may begin to search the Chat Logs in order to find the "LMFGAOer of the Quarter," award to the Chatter who makes the most references to homosexuality (within an acronym or not) in the course of each three month period. In short, we expect posting habits to change very little, on the whole.

All that we ask is that you resist the urge to instantly over-react, and instead take a minute to consider how these changes will work to better the entire community. Given a little time, we feel people will agree that this is an improvement. And now, please allow me to get off to a quick head start in this month's POM race...

Karl Jobst is a fag pwned. Ngamer out.

 :: Must... | 4.01.04 | 12:02.58 AM EST | Jon


 :: stupid rankings postings... | 4.01.04 | 12:02.39 AM EST | Jon

off of...

 :: front page... | 4.01.04 | 12:02.16 AM EST | Jon


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|||||||||||| Rankings ||||||||||||

Frozen GE Rankings
Frozen PD Rankings
GE [Frame] Rankings
PD [Frame] Rankings
(^yeah, these were real useful...)
GE World Records Page
(^not worth the effort)
Rare Ranks (GE + PD)
(^updated yearly!)
The Pointless Times
(^the name says it all)
GE Turbo Rankings
(^these players will miss this. both of them, possibly)
GE LTK Records
PD LTK Records
The PROVEN GE Records
The PROVEN PD Records
(^where Wouter runs thing... and it shows)
The PD Country Elite
(^this was cool. for like 2 hours)
Subsidiary/Rivalry Page
(^100 links, none of them worth seeing)
Brazilian PD Rankings
(^what's this doing here?)
TWINE Rankings
(^ha! no... it'd be too easy)

|||||||||||| Elite Originals ||||||||||||

The PD History Page
(^way too much work)
The Elite Quoter - Ver. 2.0
(^still cool!)
Greatest Topics of All Time
The Elite Summer Contest
One on One
April Fool's Day!
Team Florida
Illinois 2002
SamSim's Ode to the Elite
(^rhymes with 'hay,' starts with 'g')
Game Rage!
(^another great reason to close)
Legend of Robert Klee
ST's Frigate Tribute
"teh Pwnion" by Mr. Food
(^all these are still great!)
Site Appreciation & Credits

|||||||||||| Movies ||||||||||||

Downloads: Gone Forever

- Fastest movies
- Better Luck Next Time
- Wouter's Movies

- Fastest movies
- Better Luck Next Time

|||||||||||| Archived News ||||||||||||


- April - December

- January
- December

- January
- February
- March

Wondering how we know these times are valid? We don't. Are they truly world records? Who cares?

Top players used to be "required" to send video proof by mail to the laziest people on earth (with capture cards). All players weren't monitored closely enough, and suspicious times were rarely noticed, and hardly ever addressed. Players who refused to provide proof where given extensions, for years at a time, if need be. These times are the fastest known, and are considered to be world records given the unique environment of strat/video whoarding that goes on here at

Please direct questions and comments to:

Derek Clark - Bitter Webmaster
Bryan Youse - Worn-out Rankings Moderator
Jon Barber - Frusterated Historian

since 3.27.02 owns Rareware and Nintendo. Plz recognize this.
Perfect Dark, GoldenEye 007, and all related material are registered trademarks of
Every time you mention them, you owe Derek a quarter. This counts retroactively.
All content is Copyright 2004

AFD pwned