Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
Part 3
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Matthijs ten Ham, GE:
"The life of my grey controller came to an end somewhere in 2001. I was playing Silo agent for the World record and I made such a clumsy mistake during a smooth run. I throwed it in the direction of my desk and it bounced on the grey stick a few times. All the buttons did work except for the grey stick. A few days later frustration turned into my broken black controller. At that time I already had a blue and an yellow controller and another different looking controller(as a price in a gaming contest for a british magazine). So five controllers, 2 being on the injury list."
"Now, when getting frustrating, I hit my fist like really hard on my desk, or I take some weights to get rid of my stress. I still throw my controller now and then but with less anger. I throw it with care. You see I care about my controllers:). Sometimes I start swearing, but that is like really rare. Usually right after I make the same mistake on a level a twice after each other I start screaming or squeezing my controllers. Sometimes I get some response from downstairs: parents, sister. Mostly: Matthijs, act normal and stuff like that."
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Andrew Kent, many titles:
Rage Against the Machine
Brought about when I fail to beat a time on the SNES or N64. I vividly remember one example of this back in 2000 when I was battling it out with Mr. Miller in Mario Party PAL. I came very close to finishing a perfect run on Bumper Balls Maze 3, and choked on the last turn. Boy was I mad. I saw so much red I didn't realise it was bits of my controller. I had chucked it at the N64 and inadvertantly hit the SNES which was next to it. I apologised to the SNES and yanked the chord of my then broken red controller out of the N64. Since then I put a pillow in front of me and throw the controller at that.
Rage Against the Controller
This happens when I am playing GE-Multi or maybe Battle Mode in MK64. It's even happened in SSB64 Multi, but the main thing is that when I lose badly (like, in a really miserable fashion) I hold out the N64/SNES controller in my left hand and whack it leftward with my right. One example of this was when I was playing SMK with Adam Rose way back in 1997. I failed to beat him on 150cc GP Special Cup, and since that was unheard of I used this anger management technique. Back then there was no couch against that wall, and my 12 string guitar sat there unprotected. I suddenly had to explain to my parents why my $350 guitar had a hole the size of a tennis ball in it. Adam Rose conveniently went to help my sister play Barbies.
Rage Against the GBA
Probably the worst form of abuse I carry out. When I have largely unsuccessful attempts at beating my times (and this happened more often when I was up against the likes of Gallo, Whalls and Kisman) I used to take out the controller rage on my GBA whilst holding it instead of just supporting it. This would spontaneously cause about 10% of the battery life to just disappear, making me even more angry. I remember having to eat copious amounts of spinach in order to disguise what I was yelling at the top of my lungs. In more recent times I find my sister is an appropriate tool against rage. I just give her the GBA and tell her to play it to her heart's content. Then I go off and listen to my Mini-Disc player and do some Mathematics problems.
Rage Against Myself
Not my most proud moment. After several occurances of the N64 being knocked off the wall unit by a well aimed controller, I strapped it down with two octopus cords. Then I would often begin to throw the controller in the opposite direction and hit the door instead (it was much stronger than the wall). Once I managed to time my rage with my dad opening the door, and so the flying controller went through the door, past his shoulder, and the plug got yanked out of the N64. I turned to see the plug catch my eye (and you know how painful that can be). I was not in a happy state of affairs after that. The octopus cords were the first things to go.
Rage Against my Family
Surely I am not the only one to be in a bad mood with the world simply because I can't get a stupid 0:59 on Dam Agent or get a 1'28"XX 5-Lap time on Rainbow Road or whatever? Well I tend to get all s---ty with everyone whenever I can't do that sort of thing, and I often get sent to my room for releasing such trivial insults as "Go to Hell". I then shut my door, do some charming mathematical problems and listen to Nirvana, Slipknot or some other soft music band.
Rage Against the Remote
Not a pretty sight. Once in 2001 I came home from an 21st party and found nobody at home. I was playing Road Rash (I think) and since I was not quite 100% sober I was having rather a hard time of it. Once, after being knocked off my bike by some pissy little semi-trailer, I threw the remote (yes, the remote, because the controller slipped from my grasp) at the TV. Needless to say, it missed and clipped the top of the VCR. Since then one of the AA batteries in the remote has sat rather loosely, and the remote itself has been partially taped up.
Mathematical Problems I Ensconce Myself In As A Form Of Anger Management
Until last year I would just do the hardest Trigonometric problems I could think of. Then last year that just didn't do the trick anymore, and I began using Calculus instead. It's quite handy to do Specialist Mathematics as I now concentrate mainly on "Antidifferentiation of Inverse Circular Functions & Partial ractions" to relieve my excess stress.
Music I Listen To At Times Like These
Well, apart from Heavy Metal, (and other children's records), I often find that a little Monty Python doesn't go astray. If I feel particularly optimistic, I may instead indulge in a little Millencolin now and then.
Other Forms Of Anger Management Which I Have Pursued
I know this sounds conventional but I do in point of fact have pictures of celebrities and world leaders who I think have done a shoddy job over the past and whom I would like to assassinate. I normally look at their picture and practice my evil laugh in preparation of their hour of death. I can't wait to gloat! Apart from that I am known to torture my sister's Barbies, not as a vendetta against my sister, but as a vendetta against Barbie. Who can blame me after all?
Noble Players Who Have Tried To Calm Me Down In The Past v
Jason Whalls, quoth Tuesday July 25th, 2000, after I survived several SMK let-downs unscathed: "As you can see, (Kent has made some) major accomplishments..."
Andreas Runnelid, quoth Monday July 31st, 2000, after I suffered a Game Rage relapse: "I will have to try even more it seems ... which bothers me greatly ... something which does not happen very often..."
David Wonn, quoth Thursday January 30th, 2001, after Myles Bukrim confirmed a fool-proof cure for Game Rage (particularly mine): "I'll just have to ask (Myles) to see if my assumption is correct, and hopefully figure out which method he used..."
Kevin Booth, quoth December ???, 2000, after I threatened to torture my sister's Barbies over e-mail: "It's a GAME man. It's not MONEY, and it's not WOMEN, it's a HOBBY..."
Adam Rose, quoth August ???, 1998, to my sister, after I tore some of my hair out in despair: "Oops, we really should start playing Connect 4 again soon, maybe even Guess Who ... anything to get him away from the TV..."
Sami Çetin, quoth Friday August 18th, 2000, after my Game Rage was considered detrimental to other players aswell as myself: "...I agree with the (synopsis of Andrew's) problem, although it will not have a big impact on the community ... this should be no trouble and we won't have to look at it this way ... thanks for bringing the matter to our attention anyway."
Ademir Cortes, quoth Sunday March 18th, 2001, after hearing of my troubles: "...brought back a few memories of spending countless hours in front of the SNES trying to get the perfect times; being on the last lap of Rainbow Road with 4 excellent previous lap times, only to crash, and hurling my control at the TV in sheer disgust. Ah, those were the days..."
And the list goes on...
So yes, I would call myself a victim of Game Rage and also a perpetrator of gaming law. When the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Electrical Merchandise catches up with me I will be removed from civilised society. This was actually an off-handed way of venting the anger caused me by Game Rage. Heed my words, and all others on this page! Don't fall prey to the torture that is Game Rage, or if that is unavoidable, make sure you have a good running supply of Barbies to torture!
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This page was created by Derek Clark. If you would like to contribute to the page with your own story, please email me at clark@the-elite.net. All contributions are encouraged. I will continue to append this page as new stories come in.
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