Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
Part 8
- o0o -
Trent Hovis, GE/PD:
| Before: |
After: |
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I feel better already.
Tim "Silent Thunder" Dubovsky, GE/PD/TS2:
"Timesplitters PR. Game rage story.
2C Crispy Duck - 95.5%
OK time. Not a WR, but a good time. This was eventful for another reason, though. After I got the time and pressed the button to save, the game froze. I just stood there looking at a loading screen for 3 minutes before I realized that it wasn't going to save my damned score. So I give up and reset the PS2. Game begins to start up, and then just freezes. I repeat the process a second time, only to get the exact same results.
After this, I did what any red-blooded american gamer would do to a game that just screwed him out of a PR and then refused to start. I ripped that f.ucker out of the system and broke it clean in half. Then I broke the two halves in half. Then I dropped the four shards onto the floor and bashed them out of recognition with the controller. It was fun.
I'll probably get a new copy sometime. It only costs about $5."
Bahahahah "what any red-blooded American gamer would do". So true.... Better yet, a true American would dig up an old game that used to cause lots of stress, then destroy preemptively, citing is a threat to international peace.
*whistles*
Another one from ST:
"Oh boy, where do I start with this one? I was cleaning out my gaming stuff a couple of days ago and I ran across all of the broken controllers and whatnot that have resulted from game rage. In a moment of inspiration, I threw them all in a pile, added the games that are to blame for the mess and took a picture. There's one N64 controller with the back cover missing because I used a few parts from it to fix another controller. I think there's a grand total of four PS2 controllers, three of which have been removed from their covers and are all junk. The blue PS2 controller is trash, even though it looks like it's just missing two buttons, the inside is just a irreparable mess. The SNES, if you'll look closely, has a hole in its upper-left corner. That happened long ago before I was even part of t-e.n. I don't even remember exactly what I did. System still works though.
Every time I look at this pic I don't know if I should feel ashamed because it's just so sad, or proud because I gave those controllers what they had coming to them. I've vowed to stop raging, though, that's for sure. Money spent on PS2 controllers starts to add up after going through five of them."
I love this...a true Whallsian rager. You should feel proud, not ashamed. I mean, destroying material things is a completely practical and non-violent way to vent frustration.... Uh, well yeah, actually you should feel ashamed. But you are not alone, my friend *pats on shoulder*.
NEXT!
Thomas "wishiwasfamous" Andrews, GE
"Game Rage lite:
Really two, one about my cousin, and one about myself.
Cousin: sixish years ago, I visited my cousin in Florida, and he just bought the 64 and GE. So we start playing MP and I'm loving it. I whip out a Golden Gun (he had a perfect streak against me, 10-0), cap him, and I win, 5-4. He immediately (he has ADD, or that hyperactivity disorder) screams, stomps, runs around, but never really blames me for what happened :b. He finally rips out his RumblePak, shakes it like a British Nanny shakes a child, and start biting it. Finally my uncle walks in and disciplines him.
Me: I have not ruined a controller.. . yet, but I'm getting damn close. The worst affair was when I was going for Runway A 23. I time the music so that if I fade out before a certain amount of music starts, I know if I got 23 or 24. So I just had a 25 run, flucking up the nades, and restart (35th try that day) and get a 24. It times right on the line for the music, so I thoughtlike 24.0001. So I enter again. I have an ever better run, with like .5 seconds faster, and 24 pops up again. I immediately flip the TV the bird numerous times, bring my voice up to Michael Jackson high, and stomp on the floor. So I turn it off, and go make some lunch, and I spill ketchup all over my jeans. WTF!!!
At IL 2K4, my Atomic Purple controller will Atomic bomb-ed with my size 15 feet."
"I immediately flip the TV the bird numerous times, bring my voice up to Michael Jackson high, and stomp on the floor" - I'm really having difficulty picturing this, lol. I don't really want to. This is the worst kind of rage... the kind that comes forth from delirium and manifests itself in the form of wildly irrational displays of anger. Hopefully no one videotaped it.. *slowly pushes tape under bed with foot*
Regarding your cousin... same thing. British Nannies shake children? Cool. Did your uncle shake him like a little bitch as part of his disciplining? I hope so.
On a final note, your alias "wishiwasfamous" is grammatically incorrect and you must pay. "wishiwerefamous" would be correct - the subjunctive applies because it's future conditional. Everyone, take heed.
"controlmaster", n00b:
"i swear u r all mental...........the most i do is curse....or i just say "u can make a fool out of me but u cant" i turn it off and take a break."
I'm sure if I got mad and shouted, "YOU CAN MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME BUT YOU CAN'T!!" at my TV, my roommates wouldn't be tempted to classify that as "mental", nope nope.
Andrew Kent, many titles:
A "Rough transcript" accounting for night with the guys:
Me: "Halo?"
Adam: "Well, ya know I've got one broken controller."
Jay: "We'll play 1-Player and take it in turns."
Me: "... Adam, the controller isn't working."
Adam: "But Brendan was playing just last night. That bastard must've wrecked it."
Me: "Must've tried hard. Was he throwing it around?"
Jay: "Nah. Those wires are torn. Did I tell you what Luke did with his controller?"
Adam: "Didn't he smash it with a mallet one time?"
Jay: "Yeah, as soon as it gave up on him he trashed it. I couldn't be stuffed doing that. Actually walking out to the shed, grabbing the hammer and physically bashing it. I'm lazy."
Adam: "That'd be right. That's why you're still at my house. You bum."
Me: "Adam, what do you do when you get angry at a game?"
Adam: "Well I throw a controller occasionally, but then I can't reach it anymore, and I suddenly get bored of playing."
Jay: "Me too. I don't chuck'em. 'Coz one time I chucked it and it hit the console and the whole shoot'n match tumbled down the back behind the chest of drawers. Although with the NES I once did the old 'snap the controller in half'. Then I just picked up my other one and started playing with that."
Adam: "You psycho. Okay, so now there's just one thing left to do! Jay, you and I're gunna play Halo Campaign using my Need For Speed Steering Wheel set!"
Jay: "... you can't be serious."
Me: "Boy, we're scraping the bottom of the barrel today."
Adam: "No, it really works! See, Jay can hit the accelerator for me to shoot, and I can move forward and to the side by turning the wheel. The horn'll let me throw a grenade."
Me: "Okay, so how do you turn around?"
Adam: "Uh ... um, oh crap. Screw this."
lol, how the rage breeds resourcefulness.... Pressing an accelerator to shoot - that's a funny notion. Probably wouldn't be the safest ride home after a few hours of that.
Andrew has also provided us an illustration, hypothesizing how Jay might've managed to "snap the (NES) controller in half":
Bryan Bosshardt, GE/PD/MKDD:
TheBigBossman007: I was playing Control 00A a few days back, using a controller
TheBigBossman007: I was stuggling with the first room
TheBigBossman007: the 3rd guard kept rolling
TheBigBossman007: or moving around
TheBigBossman007: so I had like a string of 3 straight runs where he rolled
TheBigBossman007: so I was winding up the throw
TheBigBossman007: spiked the contoller hard to the ground
TheBigBossman007: I've never seen that bullshit luck ever on this game
TheBigBossman007: 3 straight runs
TheBigBossman007: of same guard rolling
TheBigBossman007: but anyways, the controller bounced off the ground
TheBigBossman007: not in pieces
TheBigBossman007: it was 1 whole
TheBigBossman007: a few chips
TheBigBossman007: the stick was ok
TheBigBossman007: BUT, Z button toast
TheBigBossman007: making the whole controller useless
So turns out the Bossman is human after all. And yes, I agree with getting intensely mad at rolling/ducking guards. It wouldn't so annoying if it seemed like a reasonable tactical strategy... but I swear they only do it to provoke you. But if I see a guy flying at me recklessly with a gun, well... there are a lot of things I might do, but none of them include doing a somersault toward him.
Jonathan Atkinson, via email:
"circa november 2003, late one night on an extended session on tony hawks frantically tryin to beat the stupid line challenge and progress onto the last level on expert a good week ahead of my friends, every failed attempt resulted in a hearty punding on the desk with the control pad. after around 35 hearty wacks the controller had had enough and the side just caved in leaving me with no option to play the level. since then the pad has drifted from states of perfect workin order to randomly pressing buttons itself mid-game, great fun...
btw i eventually beat the level after another 3 days
-jonathan"
A haunted controller. And a sentence fragment. FYI: they all give in around 35 wacks (but only if the hearty variety).
"Drunk Canucks"
Roufouls: lol ive destroyed my apartmenty over the gamer in rages of madness
eyeoftorquemada: :-(
eyeoftorquemada: trying breathing in
Roufouls: lol dont work i just flip out, i flipped my couch, threw the controller at the wall, dragged my bed across my place throwing knives at walls etc
Ever reflect on the absurdity of "throwing knives". Are there such knives in the world? Knives marketed as "throwing knives"? Do they have special handles for smooth release and steady projectile flight? It's like ...firearms intended for pistol whipping only. And isn't "pistol whipping" a somewhat grandiose expression for "hitting a guy with your gun"? ...Why aren't you answering my semi-rhetorical questions?
"mattfin", from Cyberscore:
"The other day I was playing wario ware and I got so mad after losing at a game that I took the GBA and threw it out the window of my house. A second later I heard someone curse and come knocking at my door, furious. The guy chewed me out and then proceeded to throw the GBA against the cement before leaving. As he walked off I saw a huge knot on the back of his head, that being the point of impact."
Whoa whoa, you serious?
..you bought Wario Ware? Anyway, this story is clearly fake (as is 95% of everything else at Cyberscore).
"ej1elliot", PD:
"I have done sooo much damage I failed a 1:31 research inve.. I had one of those "rare bots" that came real early i got a bot open the 1st laser thing at 48 secs then i got to the uplink bit and died my 1:32 run had a 0:49 bot so i realized i could have had 1:31 I went mental... i put my fist through the window and door and launched my whole bed across the room... I did not hit the controllers theyre bad enuf already.I got my hand wrapped up and lost a bit of blood >: does ne1 else get that pised about those sort of things here?..."
"Launched" your bed "across" the room!?!? Easy, Mr. Hyde. Send us that hand wrap so we can test your DNA to see if you're some sort of super hybrid from the future. *hand hovering hip-mounted taser* Just... hand it to me ..slowly...
Thanks for a blood story, we don't have nearly enough of these.
A female friend:
HER: with my old gameboy (the huge kind that werent in color)
HER: ok so i was 8, and we went to NC for a family reunion at some lake resort. i brought the gameboy with me as my entertainment. i used to get VERY into the games.........
HER: well one day, i kept messing up on the same place, and i just got so aggravated that i slammed the gameboy against my forehead. annnnnnnd i cracked the screen. it made a huge blue/purple/green blob
HER: and then i had to buy the next one with my own $
ME: lmao
HER: :'(
ME yes, self-directed anger is common
ME: bcs like..
ME: ppl get so mad and know they have only themselves to blame
ME: lots of dudes punch themselves
ME: turns out
HER: lol
HER: ive done that. or slapped myself in the face
HER: but that was years ago
HER: and usually it was either for messing up with games, or with playing the flute LOL
ME: lol!
Wow, our first documented case of actual chick rage, lol. This girl's really sweet, which has a lot to do with why I was laughing so hard... hard for me to imagine it. We're all very, very strange people behind closed doors.
Until next time....
Keep those submissions coming.
- o0o -
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
This page was created by Derek Clark. If you would like to contribute to the page with your own story, please email me at clark@the-elite.net. All contributions are encouraged. I will continue to append this page as new stories come in.
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