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T-E.N - Appreciation Fund
Stake your claim on a piece of our territory, forever.
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38 Donations have been made so far by 35 people.
Please visit the
Donation Acknowledgements thread to see who these gracious people are,
where you can also see who made the The $20 Club!
PLEASE READ:
The-elite.net is paid for and operated by a few guys that just
want to see this place continue to thrive. If you'd like to
help me out with a small PayPal donation, it would be greatly
appreciated in my battle against hosting costs. Donations via
"snail mail" are also accepted, if you prefer. Just email me
for mailing info.
With your help, we will never see an advertisement on these
sacred grounds! (pr0n dealz pending, however.)
Again, THANK YOU, Elite!
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Events:
November 30th - Get in the holiday spirit!
Elite Santa (12:41:42 PM): ohoho!
"Want a shot?" I asked him. "Yeah, but just one or two." he replied.
Bah, that's what they all say. Very quickly, "one or two" becomes "seventeen or twenty-three" and before you know it, you're laying shitfaced in a blanket of yesterday's breakfast, seeing Jesus and his apostle pals breakdancing on your microwave, while screaming prophecies of a great plague.
It's times like these, when top players Rayan "Ace" Isran and David "Clemens" Clemens claim "Just one or two", that I'm glad I have poison control on speed dial. Between their bouts of alcoholism and "brewing les hoots", they both claimed the Silo Agent world record, as well as Ace finally tieing the elusive Caverns and Surface agent records.
If you need me to tell you the mission time for those, you haven't been paying attention.
Moving right along and hopefully staying a little more on topic, Clemens also nailed an exitingly vulgar untied on Dam 00 Agent, at 1:57. Other players on this stage include Henning Blom, with a damn fine time of two minutes flat.
A player who Im sure we'll all be hearing a lot about in the time to come, is Axel Zakrisson, who nailed nearly two dozen PRs over the last couple weeks, and continues to ninja his way up the rankings. Among his times are Jungle Secret Agent 0:59, Control 00 Agent 4:25, and a time to make me reach for that speed dial, former Caverns Agent world record at 1:03.
Other players to improve this week were Dan Cervone, with 50 seconds on Surface 2 Agent; Simon Sternis, who escaped the Bunker mark II in 1:08; Zerg with a clever 1:51 at Surface 00; Mouser grinding away at the Aztec, currently at 1:53 on Secret Agent; newcomer Glozboy with a vaguely homosexual 0:26 through the Frigate; and of course, PR man Eddie Lovins with a slick 1:34 on Aztec Agent.
Lastly, we bid farewell to a dear friend, GreatMax who announced his tragic retirement from Goldeneye last week. A wise, influential player who will be dearly mi
Good news Elite! Our UK pal Graham Maddocks is back from his antarctic vacation, chilling with the penguins and grizzly bears, and returned to his domination of the 2nd Surface stage, with times of 0:54 and 1:32 to add to his previously untied world record.
Farewell, and be merry and drink!....but carefully.
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Brazilian eliter Narigutita bellowed out this threat in his best Hulk Hogan voice as he got a speedy PR of 1:07 on Surface Agent. But Clemens has been grinding out WRs all year, 12 total since the last news post, 6 of which are untied including the paparrazi pounding 0:21 on Bunker, a mysterious 1:36 at the Aztec, and an illuminating 1:20 in the Caverns, all on the Secret Agent level. After cementing his place in the top 2 in points and time for what I dare say could be months to come, margarita loving Narigutita may have his work cut out for him.
Young Ace, the other third of the top two, remains as prodigal as ever, having recently set his sights on the Aztec stage, where he systematically lowered the 00Agent world record to an impressive 1:40, as well as tied the Agent time of 1:31. He's gotten ten WRs in total since January, among them a seriously impressive 0:46 run of Bunker 2 (Secret Agent).
After releasing many of his long awaited videos, and returning to a lofty top 3 spot on the rankings, Boss announced his triumphant return from his 2^(n-1)th retirement (where n is an integer approaching infinity), and delivered very quickly with two world records, those being the untied Statue 00A 2:18 and Dam 00A 1:58. When asked exactly where he had gone to during that time, it was discovered he had gotten lost in the jungle, but managed to escape in 57 (admittedly intense) seconds.
Another former GE champ, the legendary Wouter Jansen, recently made his 10,000th post on the forums which seemed to be what many long time players feared above all else: a massive unwhoard. This would turn out to be a sneaky April Fool's joke, but among the farce was the very real time of 22 seconds on Runway Agent, Which eliter Ryan White (who recently improved his Silo 00 WR time to 1:25) described as "the best 22 Ive ever seen. 7:0 pure nade boosts sweet amazing". Also to tie this fabled WR was Henning Blom, who also tied 0:17 on Bunker 1 as well as set dozens of personal bests, continuing his rise through the rankings. Another new member of club Runway 22 is Dan Cervone, who additionally managed to tie the Egypt and Bunker Agent records, as well as Depot Secret Agent's 0:43, a time very worthy of his top ten ranking.
Oh, and speaking of the Top ten, we've got a new member in that of the Elite's favorite PR setting man, Eddie Lovins! He did this by improving his personal bests 20-some times, tieing two WR times (Dam A and Cradle SA), as well as just being an all around awesome guy.
In other world record news, Leonardo Santos is on his way to reclaiming his Facility belt, having tied the Agent and Secret Agent times, and showing no signs of stopping there. Axel Zakrisson got two 1:56s on Streets, very nice times but only one of them is still a world record.
Last little bit of news for you ladies and gents, The-Elite's Goldeneye news will now be updating every Thursday, instead of the somewhat less reliable (but arguably more awesome) schedule of "whenever JacK feels like it".
Take care, but remember; NARIGUTITA IS COMING FOR YOU.
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Good day people. It’s been more than a month since my last news entry, so I figured people would like to see one again. This time, a normal one actually!
I cannot say PD saw too much activity lately, but the people who play are doing it actively enough to write something about it. First of all, Perfect Ace (whose name I have to mention every news entry, and hope that’ll be the case for the next few entries as well). The kid managed to beat some of my records, lowering Escape SA from 3:18 to 3:16, and cutting off one second of the old 2:25 Agent record. I think everyone knew these times were possible, and it didn’t really surprise me to see them beaten. In fact, 2:22 on Agent will happen, and 3:13 on SA too. Luckily, my 3:20 on Perfect Agent still stays. Other untieds coming from Perfect Ace: WAR! Special Agent 0:45 (with one closed door), but however, a very solid run.
Then we have Carathorn, who managed to hoard his way into the top 30 (in time that is), and getting the nice Chicago Agent 0:15 record. Well done. Along with some good PRs he cut off about 5 minutes and gained about 700 points this month.
In Finland, we have some dude called Otto, who hasn’t been really active, but the good thing is he managed to get his 63/63 proven times back, due to some DVD-recorder gayness. Along with some PRs Otto also got the Skedar Ruins SA WR of 1:25.
Then I hate to write something about myself, but I guess there is no other way, as most recently there are a few WRs gotten by myself. One of them is clearly my best and is Skedar Ruins SA 1:23, using the old pillar strat, might be close to maxed using this strat, cannot say for sure. Also, Skedar Ruins PA 1:32 (which is still claimed one of the worst WRs) was an untied which I got, but due to extreme luck factors it’s hard to maximize this level. And, along with some other good PRs I managed to get into top 5 in time, and 6th in points.
Probably the best for last. We broke the 1:34:00 barrier, actually it is at 1:33:56 now. Mostly caused by Perfect Ace’s hoarding earlier in 2008, which got himself to first place. The WRs that eventually broke the barrier were Escape A and Escape SA mentioned earlier. In conclusion, nicely done everyone and let’s break that 1:33:00 barrier, alright!
Red Bull
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To everyone who is going to read this, this is a language only certain people know about and I’m sure that there’s no one of you, so if you want to be sure you have to find some translator I guess well I cannot tell if there is one or if you have to get some dictionary or wait maybe there is none.
After I wrote my last post there has been some sladky veshches ittying on. Yes, there has! For example, Ace posted that whole veshches of WRs but then again he didn't quit there and I have to govoreet, horrorshow I'm impressed, just like everyone should be. Oh my bratties!
Ace posted some very bolnoy impressive amount of WRs I must govoreet and yes, we're all proud of him, but really does anyone pony the guy, oh bratties, G5 SA 0:41 what does it mean nowadays? Ace lowering his Maian SOS PA by 2 whole seconds who could have ever imagined, can someone firegold his red red krovvy? Is this malenky malchick a nazz or just too real dobby with like a pooshka? Am I bezoomny my droogs, am I bezoomny?
Also, some guy eemyaed Red Bull has done some choodessny rabbit in PD, getting 2 untied world pop-discs and veshches like that, you know how it itties, it's like to be poogly about or not? It's razrezzing 4 seconds of the current total raz, or is it not? Some days my glazzies messel they were ittying bezoomny when they viddied Escape SA 3:18 and Escape PA 3:20 but when I viddied those razzes I was not really impressed as I'm ittying for lower and who knows what will sloochat to them, O my brothers. It's really real dobby, really real dobby!
Also I have noticed that there are certain lewdies who get certain PRs and those lewdies must be like Carathorn and Mr. Guru and Plum, and congrats to all those pop-discs and veshches they get because it's like sladky how those lewdies sloochat to gain ranks and everyone viddies they gain ranks and horrorshow there is this guy eemyaed Otto and his DVD recorder belongs to his pee right now so he will not get very real dobby PRs but pony this lewdies he was 60/60 proven and now he isn't anymore because of his latest PR and welly welly welly welly well, sometimes you have to do this, viddy for yourself!
"The nearest way to glory is to strive to be what you wish to be thought to be."
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The year opened with heated competition for control on the Silo 00 Agent world record. Boss was first to give it a go, tieing the existing time of 1:29 before lowering it another second to 1:28. Clemens put it a good effort as well, obtaining a PR or 1:29 and duping it short thereafter. Goose however, simply stared at the floor, reducing lag, and emerged ahead of the field with the new untied time of 1:27, prompting a massively epic comeback video, and later being the first player to hit the elusive Streets time of 1:55, on secret agent.
Unable to cope with being bested, Boss and Clemens quickly hopped onto the local train to seek conselling, both arriving in a slick 1:27, secret agent style. Ace quickly derailed their hopes, by defending and improving his untied sweep of the stage, lowering the SA time to 1:25; followed by tieing the Archives SA and 00 world records at 0:54.
Neither of them would give up however, and both would go on to break the 1:15:00 barrier, with some strong new records including Aztec 00 1:43 by Boss; Aztec SA 1:38, Dam SA 1:17 and Streets A 1:13 by Clemens. As of this post, Clemens is ahead overall by only a single second! With the competition at the top so close, it should be interesting to see who winds up on top later this year. Why, it could even be newcomer Adam Goldflint, who recently achieved his first world record time, Runway SA 0:23.
Great as all the new WRs above are, they pale compared to the recent bunker-ings of our pal, David Clemens, who managed to not only get the untied he had been aiming for for some time, but to get it by a full two seconds!Bunker 2 SA 0:46, great time and shaping up to be the strongest untied record set this year; he then went onto tie the 00 agent WR of 0:58, securing a sweep of the level. Clemens wasn't the only player tackling this stage, Illu set two personal bests of 0:51 on Secret Agent and 1:05 on 00 Agent.
In other news, Eddie Lovins was busy rocking the Cradle, obtaining 0:35 on Agent and 0:37 on SA and 00, making him the newest player 60/60 times proven. Congrats Eddie, for making octo's job all the easier! Down in Aussieland, Glen Stevens started his GE year by duping his personal best on Facility Agent, 0:47.
Licence to Kill league saw a fair bit of action as well, with Boss hitting a strong 0:56 on Archives. Illu and Adam Bozon put in some good work on Aztec, hitting 2:23 and 2:18 respectively, both beating the previous world record of 2:24.
On the darker side of LTK, Ace managed 1:07 on Archives, but that pales to Illu's recent Aztec acheivement. His new record time of 8:19 not only beats the next best time by a full 7 and a half minutes, but also beats the in-game target time to unlock the dual laser cheat. A stunning feat to which no doubt many Bonds valiantly gave their lives.
Well, that's all for now! See you all again in a couple weeks.
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- Select Movies (SDA server)
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There are approximately 1000 GE/PD movies in circulation, more than we could ever host.
Lucky for you, we're notorious around here for file sharing on AIM. Check out the Elite's AIM SN Directory to see which Eliters are sharing videos.
If it exists, we've got it.
Special thanks to The Speed Demos Archive
for kindly hosting GE videos.
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