Lauded as the most remarkable player to ever grace the Goldeneye sector of The Elite, the news is a huge blow to the morale of a community as a whole. Wouter held 44 Goldeneye world records, 13 of which were untied, at the time he was stripped of his title as the world's greatest competitor.

     "This is fucked up. Goddammit, Wouter...why did you have to be born a freak?! You were my hero...I can't emulate a man with six fingers on a hand when I only have five! What am I supposed to do here?!" screamed fellow "Eliter" Jim Barrett. "You should be ashamed of yourself for not telling us straight up what a deformed son-of-a-bitch you really are. This totally pisses me off!"

     "I'll never play Goldeneye again," added Barrett. "In fact, if I lived in England, I'd give my cartridge to Harvey Manhood so he could throw it into a lake. A different lake, though...it might be awkward for an NTSC cartridge to be in the same lake as a PAL catridge."

     Possessing the amazing skill that having extra fingers will give you, Jansen joined The Elite amid a lot of controversy. His times were so good, in fact, that people thought he was lying. He soon debunked those theories, however, and became the greatest Goldeneye player The Elite has ever known. He has even owned every single record at some point in time.

     "I'm actually glad. You have no idea how many points this gives me!" exclaimed Matthijs ten Ham, who is now in second place.

     "I never thought I'd have a chance at first place, but now that Wouter is out of the way, I only have that chump Bosshardt to pass. Three thumbs up, you crazy, Dutch anomoly. Or, is it four thumbs? Does he have two thumbs on both hands, or just the one hand? Oh well, you guys get my point."

     His proudest achievement seems to be 17 seconds on Bunker 1 Agent. The fact that no one else has been able to reproduce this time is the main focal point of the argument against the two-thumbed curiosity.

     In a press conference Clark held on his webcam, the Florida resident stated, "It's obvious that his third thumb, pinky, whatever the hell you want to call that...thing...played a huge role in his ability to amass so many untied world records." Clark stated.

     "Due to the fact that nobody else is known to have an extra finger or two, I cannot, in good conscience, allow Wouter to compete at our level. I will, however, make a seperate page for deformed members. As of now, Wouter holds every world record in that class. Congratulations!"

     Nobody was watching at the time of broadcast, but you can "Get File..." WashedUpGamer (Clark's AIM handle) for a copy. However, you will need the divX codec to watch it.

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